Annah Ashaba, a Makerere University fresh graduate a few days back broke to public attention over her hard-hitting poem “I want to be Museveni’s Side chic.“
The hard-hitting erotic poem reveals the poet’s decry to the continued closure of schools, unlawful arrests among other political concerns where she revealed that she would use her position of ‘the president’s side chic’ to raise such matters to the fountain of honor.
Immediately after realizing the poem to public use, she revealed how she continuously received messages from the public urging her to be conscious about her dear life.
“You will be kidnapped and dropped in some septic tank. Wolaba drone dukka. You won’t get a job. No employer would want to associate with you. Your piece is too satirical. Wesigaki? If they don’t kill you, then they will buy you off. Watch your back. Careful. Switch off your phone and shift. Change your line, I have been and still, I am receiving numerous viewpoints, thoughts, comments, and opinions about the “side chic” piece of writing,” she said.
Meanwhile, before a week could even go by, Ashaba was summoned by Uganda’s Internal Security Organisation (ISO).
Through her social platforms, Ashaba revealed that she met with Lt Col. Emmy Katabazi the ISO Deputy Director-General on Saturday.
However, she revealed that despite her initial fear of meeting the ISO boss, the meeting went on smoothly.
“Yesterday, I met with the DDG of ISO Lt.Col @EmmyKatabazi. I appreciate the dialogical approach and civility he used in regards to my poem “I want to be Museveni’s side chic”. We can always agree to disagree without fear of (and use of) torture, blackmail, drones, and prison,” Ashaba posted.
She however justified her fact that there’s a need for government to draw attention to fixing concerns raised rather than fixing the messengers.
“We can always agree to disagree without brutal use of force. We can always have alternative views without fear of being kidnapped. We can always write without the fear of censorship. We can always treat the real disease instead of tackling symptoms only. We can always turn down offers without having to worry about blackmail and labeling,” she said.
Below is the full poem
I want to be Museveni’s side chic
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that during those cozy moments, I tell him that the thought of schools still closed turns me off. I want to let him touch me slow and then when he’s charged for action, I tell him that the education crisis dried my feelings. I can’t even fake anything. I want to promise to do him all he wants as long as schools are reopened.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that when he asks me what car I need, I ask for an ambulance instead and give it away to one of the hospitals. I want to start using the money he gives me as a sugar daddy to do give-back activities to the community. I know how to make reusable pads, I could get enough capital to make this social enterprise grow and benefit many a girl child out there.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that when we go for a weekend getaway to graze cows, I sweet talk him into having all the political prisoners released. I want to remind him that those young men who were unjustly arrested have families to whom they are so dear just like the way his cows are dear to him.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that when he buys me an unlimited data bundle, I thank him and then request him to have the 12% tax on data removed. The world is advancing in science and technology, we need to advance with it, Zdaddy.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic. I want to kiss his ears, gently squeeze his nipples, and whisper to him that that boy on Twitter keeps embarrassing the family every time he gets into keyboard exchanges. Zdaddy maybe you should reconsider opening bars too.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that after reading a poem for him, I tell him that censorship, arrest, torture, and imprisonment of writers is inhumane, cowardly an act, and violation of rights. Ekaraamu tejunda muzeyi. You may imprison the people but you can’t imprison the spirit of writing. I want to tell him to take the writings as a challenge to make improvements for the betterment of the nation.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that I shower him with praises as the sexiest zaddy when he agrees to have a peaceful transition of power. We need to go somewhere in the mountains and spend quality time as someone else able to take over the presidency. There are many men and women with a vision, you ain’t the only one with a vision sweetie. Give the bazukulu a chance to build the nation. Let us go plant trees, restore the Bugoma forest, and save those wetlands and other endangered natural resources.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that I tell him what I can’t put here in writing. I am unarmed, harmless, sexy, energetic, charismatic, patriotic, and ready to read for him in retirement. Whoever can reach him, give him this proposal of a side chic in waiting.
